Weird Shittiness of Thanksgiving

In a lot of respects, thanksgiving is pretty fucked up. If you’re like me, it can be easy to just think of it as a time of eccentric relatives, dry turkey, and gravy boats. But it’s not that easy for millions of others. For many Native Americans, for instance, thanksgiving’s a holiday marred by a history of genocidal imperialism. I think it’s important for us (white people in the U.S.) to acknowledge this side of thanksgiving; I think it’s important to introduce this history into our tradition of celebration. We should take it upon ourselves to learn the true and tragic aftermath of the (largely apocryphal) events of the first thanksgiving and we should do our best to discuss these events with our friends and family.

I know this isn’t always an easy thing to do. Thanksgiving already has a reputation of hyper-conservative uncles going off the rails and spouting their political demagoguery. As a result, a lot of people feel as though thanksgiving should be an a-political gathering where we just set aside differences and enjoy one another’s company. Why bring politics into it? Why bring up tragedy and violence and history? Can’t we just be together and appreciate what we have? I have been personally called out by family members for being too divisive and political during the holidays—the assumption being that it would be better for everyone if I just put my values on hold and enjoyed myself.

Well here’s what I think about that: I realize that the holidays are a special time, a time where many people are able to take off work and come together with loved ones in numbers that can be difficult to coordinate during the rest of the year. I get that. And I also get that the holidays are meant to be an occasion for slowing down and taking time to appreciate and prioritize the things which are most important. The holidays are, in other words, meant to be a time of gratitude. Practicing gratitude through mindfulness is, in my opinion, one of the most wonderful and important aspects of being human. So to have a time of year that actively promotes those practices is fantastic. And I think most people would agree with that. But where I differ from most people is on how we should go about practicing gratitude. It is my belief that true gratitude comes not from a passive acknowledgement of how nice it is to have a gluttonous smorgasbord in front of us, nor from the solipsistic assumption that god handpicked us to have all that we have, nor from the obligatory undoing of belt buckles and lazy enjoyment of football games. No, true gratitude comes from having a deep appreciation for our cosmic luck—including not only the profound unlikelihood of being alive and conscious, but also the many subtle and unspoken privileges that are so commonly ignored.

An awareness of these things requires regular contemplation and practice because they are not intuitive and because privileges, when possessed, are, by definition, hard to recognize. One of the best ways to pursue a deep appreciation for our hidden privileges and to nourish our sense of gratitude is to push ourselves to recognize and understand the pain and suffering of those who have led lives and had experiences different from our own. In other words, gratitude is cultivated through perspective and compassion. We can appreciate our own situation more fully by appreciating the situations of others more fully. By learning and discussing the history of violence that our ancestors inflicted upon the indigenous peoples of this land, we are doing exactly that. We are acknowledging our privilege and cultivating compassion, all of which, when internalized in a healthy way, further expands our gratitude and our understanding of the role that luck and happenstance plays in shaping our lives. As we come to terms with the fact that we are not the sole sculptors of our circumstance, many of us are then motivated to take action, to behave in sympathetic and charitable ways—something that’s supposedly a hallmark of the holiday season.

So bring up the tragic history of thanksgiving and introduce the perspectives that many Native Americans hold regarding this holiday. Do this not only to help further your own appreciation of all that you have, but also to instill compassion for those whose lives and experiences are so vastly different from your own. There’s no such thing as a truly a-political gathering. We are in the thick of it; to remain silent is to uphold the status quo and tacitly endorse whatever’s currently going on. If we can’t avoid politics, then let’s at least choose what political discourse to prioritize. And on this day of thanksgiving, make it a tradition to acknowledge the tragic history of the holiday; make it a tradition to strive toward a compassionate affirmation of the experiences of the oppressed in general; make it a tradition to view your gratitude through the lens of privilege; and make it a tradition to make a difference.